Have you ever wanted to speak up about something, but worried that doing so wouldn’t be the “nice Christian” thing to do? Perhaps you’ve felt that someone was taking advantage of your generosity, or you’ve felt pressure to go along with others’ wishes despite your misgivings. These situations can put you in the awkward position of wanting to assert yourself, but guiltily feeling that doing so wouldn’t be the “Christian” thing to do.
In this week’s column, Blaine Smith takes a look at the question of assertiveness, and the importance of setting (and enforcing) boundaries in your life. Christians, Smith writes, often find it difficult to know when to speak up and when to keep quiet:
Many of us are uncomfortable asserting ourselves in some situations, and some of us are uneasy doing so in any setting. One problem may be that we are shy or feel awkward with people. We fear we’ll fail in our attempt to be outspoken and experience unbearable embarrassment. Learning how to confront and manage our fears is a major step forward in becoming more assertive. We need to strive, too, for greater optimism about our possibilities for success.
Yet we’re often hindered as well by misconceptions about biblical teaching. We assume that being assertive implies behavior that is patently un-Christian: demanding our rights, trampling over the needs of others and feeling the freedom to blow our lid whenever we feel like it.
There is a difference between obnoxiously imposing your ideas on those around you, and respectfully and Biblically speaking out about issues and situations that are important to you. Read the full column, which offers some good advice for finding the right balance between asserting yourself and keeping quiet.
