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Our question this afternoon is a bit different from the last several ones, but I think it’s appropriate with the looming approach of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and those epic family get-togethers that characterize the holidays: how do you deal with the “black sheep” in your family?

Here’s an answer from Dan Seaborn of Winning at Home, a Christ-centered family ministry:

A wise counselor friend once told me that the best way to deal with family members—especially difficult ones—is to simply be a family member to them. What he meant by this was that we should make efforts to bring the very best of family into the relationship. We should lead with love, reaching out to our relatives even when they hurt, annoy, and offend us.

This sounds much less complicated than it really is, of course, because past hurts can run deep, and because if there’s anybody on earth who can really get under your skin, it’s family.

Think about it, though. How would things change if you made an effort to bring the black sheep a little closer to the fold? What would be different if you practiced extra patience, built a bridge, agreed to disagree?

Now, I’m not going to say that there shouldn’t be any accountability or that we should turn a blind eye to real problems.

Still, there should come a time when you acknowledge that this family you’ve got is the only one you’ve got. It might never be perfect, but it will always be worth making a phone call, having a conversation, having a laugh.

Read the complete answer at the Winning at Home website.

Do you agree? Are you looking at any difficult family gatherings this holiday season, and if so, how do you deal with difficult family members with Christlike grace? And for extra credit, rephrase the question to ask how we should deal with the “black sheep” in the church family—is your answer to that any different than your answer to the original question?

What do you think?

Brace yourselves for Black Friday! In a sign that the holiday season is finally and officially upon us, Wal-Mart, Target, and other major retailers have just released ads for their Black Friday sales—roadmaps for the annual shopping frenzy following Thanksgiving.

I have no problem with anyone finding a good holiday sale at these or other stores, of course. But I can’t escape a twinge of despair at the thought of this annual celebration of consumerism. It’s partly guilt at the thought of so much money that will be spent on luxury goods and gadgets; it’s partly frustration that Black Friday is ironically linked to a holiday in which Americans (in theory) express their gratitude for and contentment with God’s blessings. And after the horror at a Long Island Wal-Mart last year, the thought of people stampeding through store aisles makes me feel somewhat ill.

What’s a Christian to make of all this? We can decry the excesses of consumer culture and the commercialization of the holidays… but that message, which I’ve heard repeated every year since I first watched the Peanuts Christmas special, feels these days less like a bold spiritual statement and more like a dreary and obligatory annual Culture War complaint. We can abstain from Black Friday and the frenzied consumerism it represents, or at least moderate our participation. But what’s something positive we can do as we head into another holiday season marked by sales and rebates rather than spiritual reflection?

This year, I’m going to use the beginning of the holiday sale season as a time to plan out how I and my family are going to live this Christmas. I’m not going to stop with the usual questions about Christmas shopping lists; this year I want to actively chart what we want to accomplish and think about during Thanksgiving, Advent, and Christmas. I’m going to ask the questions that usually get put off until the last minute, when holiday stress and expenses are high:

What will my prayer and devotional life be like over the holidays? Is there a particular book, devotional, or study I want to work through?

Are there any habits or behaviors God is calling me to give up?

What holiday programs in my community do I want to get involved with?

Who do I want to spend extra time with this holiday season?

What charities and organizations do we want to support this holiday season?

Who in my community is going to need some extra help (financially, emotionally, or something else) this Christmas? How will I help them?

What other questions should I be asking as the holiday season begins? Will you join me this winter in setting the holiday catalogues aside for a while, and making sure to ask these questions before the holiday madness distracts us?

What do you think?

Veteran’s Day (commemorated elsewhere in the world as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day) is tomorrow. Every year in early November, it reminds us of the countless men and women who have served in the military. American soldiers—and their brothers in arms from other countries—have marched, fought, and sometimes died in places all over the globe.

While the ethical questions raised are unique to each conflict, on Veteran’s Day we generally set aside such questions and simply salute those who have served their country. Nevertheless, the question of military service is one that has challenged Christians since the first days of the Church. Here are a few articles to get you thinking as you commemorate Veteran’s Day this year; all are from the Officers’ Christian Fellowship:

Can a Christian serve in combat? The age-old question of Christian ethics and the soldier’s calling.

A Conversation with a Chaplain: What’s it really like to serve as a military chaplain? An open talk about the challenges and realities of chaplaincy.

For more conversation, you might also see a recent post by Jonalyn Fincher about women and weapons. The post, and the ensuing conversation, touch on a lot of the questions that swirl around the issue of guns, self-defense, and violence.

These are weighty essays, but amidst all the moral discussion, let’s not forget to thank and honor those who have served their countries on the frontlines. Let’s thank those who have served in the past, and pray for those who are serving right now in hotspots around the world.

Whether it’s a harvest festival, or a fall carnival, or a Haunted House-esque Judgement House, or something else entirely, many churches are making alternative Halloween activities available to their communities.

What about you? Does your church provide a Halloween alternative?

Share your thoughts!

Every October 31st, Halloween rolls around with all of its perceived positives and negatives. For some, whether or not to participate isn’t even a point of discussion. For others, it’s a question they wrestle with every year.

James Watkins paraphrases Paul from 1 Corinthians 8:4-13 in his thoughts on the holiday:

Don’t worry about the ancient association of these holidays with paganism since we know there are no gods of sun and death, and that the dead don’t roam the earth. You’re not appeasing Samhain when you go “trick-or-treating” or sacrificing to the gods by carving a jack-o-lantern. But if your family or friends have reservations about these things, don’t encourage them to do something they feel is “sinful.”

Read the rest of James Watkins’ answer at Should Christians celebrate Halloween?.

What about you? Do you participate in Halloween festivities?

What do you think?

The Youth Specialties blog is written by and for youth workers. As someone whose last involvement in youth ministry was attending youth services in high school, I find it a great place to read about the issues youth leaders face today.

In a recent post, Brooklyn Lindsey discusses some of her thoughts on cell phones and youth ministry:

I recently returned from a summer mission trip where we made the unfathomable decision to collect cell phones for an entire week. A few students needed us to help them through the night sweats and uncontrollable shaking, but for the most part, by day two, all was well in the world.

We ended up having a week of deepened relationships, focused conversation, and focused service to others. Students could call their parents from the adult leaders’ cell phones but other than that, they were free…so to speak.

Three days after our trip I found myself in our local college/ young adult ministry setting. We meet in a local coffee bistro with live music and awesome discussion. My husband is the leader, so I love the ministry, 30 Below is something I look forward to every week. However, one thing was really obvious to me after having a week free of technological interruption, everyone around me (dozens of people sitting around tables) sat in this all too familiar conversation with eyes darting every few minutes to their lit up phones. Even if it was to simply “check the time”, we were all there…but not really. I started to wonder if I too, if our phones have become our safety, our fall-out plan.

We’ve all been around someone who can’t stop fidgeting with their phone or some other piece of technology, and I’m sure we’ve all wondered if they were really paying attention or if they were off in another world. It’s interesting to hear of youth ministers physically taking devices from teenagers in an effort to bring about some semblance of normalcy to their lives. Perhaps it’s a discipline we should all practice from time to time.

Do you think technology can keep us from fully experiencing our relationships with people? Or do you think our relationships can be made better through the use of always-on tech? And more importantly, what about your relationship with God? How do those bundles of circuitry help or hinder your connection with God?

Today is Maundy Thursday, the day of the Last Supper before Christ’s betrayal. While the most dramatic events of Easter—Christ’s arrest, crucifixion, and resurrection—are understandably where we focus most of our attention, the Last Supper is key to setting up the events to follow. Among other things, the Last Supper was Jesus’ last opportunity to directly minister to his disciples before his death and resurrection. So what did Jesus teach at this final gathering?

The Gospel of John goes into the most detail about the Last Supper, spending five chapters recounting Jesus’ words and actions that evening (more than he does describing the rest of the Easter story!). If it’s been a while since you read the entire story of the Last Supper, take a few minutes to read John 13-17.

What stands out the most in that story? For many readers, Jesus’ washing of the disciples’ feet is the most striking event in the entire account. What was the point of this display of humility? Blogger Mitch Lewis wrote an excellent reflection on feet-washing and its significance on Maundy Thursday that is well worth reading.

And over at Ravi Zacharias ministry site, Jill Carattini sums up the impact of this scene:

It was Oswald Chambers who once observed that drudgery is the truest test of genuine character. Foot washing was a lowly job, an oft-recurring job due to sandals and dusty streets—a job for a servant. But here, the menial task was instead performed by the master, their teacher—the Son of God.

And the influential truth of Christ’s identity is that He still does what is analogous to washing soiled feet: our deepest sorrows He feels, our sorriest actions He accepts, our smallest prayers He hears—our every transgression He forgives, our dusty, tired hearts He washes.

Also useful is this lengthier analysis of Jesus’ unusual action from a commentary at the Bible Gateway.

Was the timing of Jesus’ betrayal, arrest, and crucifixion significant?

The crucifixion took place during the Jewish celebration of the Passover feast, which commemorated God’s sparing of Israel’s firstborn sons during their captivity in Egypt, and their subsequent rescue from slavery. It’s not too difficult to see the thematic connection between Christ’s sacrifice and the events of the first Passover.

But Mart De Haan, writing at the Been Thinking About blog, observes that the timing of Easter holds even more connections to the Old Testament calendar if you dig deeper into the story. He sees a strong tie between Easter and the Jewish spring feasts:

In addition to fulfilling the mysterious predictions of prophets, Jesus showed how deeply his life was rooted in the annual celebrations of Israel.

…the fulfillment of [feast and holiday] patterns like this combine with the mysterious prophecies that predicted Messiah’s death (i.e Isa 53; Dan 9:26) to give us a compelling and convincing statement that the Passover Lamb was all that Jesus claimed to be– and far more.

It’s an interesting exploration of Easter from a fresh angle, and a reminder that there’s a lot of depth to the Easter account that isn’t obvious to a modern reader, but which would’ve been quite apparent to a contemporary audience. If this sort of Bible trivia fascinates you, RBC Ministries has an online booklet that goes into more detail about the annual cycle of feasts in the Old Testament.

Do we know the exact location of Jesus’ tomb? What is the Shroud of Turin, and is it authentic or an elaborate hoax? Why were there guards at Jesus’ tomb, and who were they? If you’ve ever wondered about some of the details of the Easter story, our friends at the Archaeological Study Bible can help: they’ve created a site that looks at some of the most interesting situations, questions and objects surrounding Jesus’ death and resurrection.

There are ten different entries, each discussing an Easter-related topic with insight provided by archaeological discoveries. Here’s an excerpt from the entry on the Upper Room—is it possible to identify the exact place in Jerusalem where it the Last Supper took place?

Christian tradition, supported by Cyril of Jerusalem (c. 310-386), identifies the site of Holy Zion Church in Jerusalem as the place where the upper room was located. This may well be correct, but the story is complicated and details are disputed by scholars. [...]

The traditional location of the upper room at Holy Zion Church is called the Cenacle or, in Latin, the Coenaculum. It is located outside the Old City near the Zion Gate and may be seen on the sixth-century Madaba Map, an ancient mosaic map of the Holy Land. The Cenacle is also (erroneously) referred to as David’s Tomb.

There’s plenty more to satisfy the archaeology geek in all of us. Explore it yourself here.

How are you commemorating Lent? There’s no Scriptural requirement to mark the season of Lent, of course. But many Christians find it helpful to mark the period of time before Easter with some sort of deliberate spiritual activity, whether it’s giving up a specific habit, denying yourself something, or engaging in a regular practice like devotions or Scripture reading.

Several writers from the IVPress community are engaging in Lent journeys and are sharing them online—and they invite anyone to participate along with them. The Strangely Dim blog has a good roundup of these; here’s a quick look at what these writers are doing for Lent:

• At Likewise Books, author Tamara Park is sending out a short email each week of Lent with a reflection, song, Scripture, and image to help you focus on Christ. Likewise encourages anyone who wants to receive the weekly emails to write to likewise@ivpress.com and put “Lenten Sacred Encounter” on the subject line.
• Author Kimberlee Conway Ireton is posting a devotional reflection on her blog each week of Lent. Her reflections are based on readings from the Revised Common Lectionary.
• David Zimmerman, author of Deliver Us from Me-ville, is posting a quote from that book on his blog each day of Lent. Accompanying those quotes is a Me-ville reading guide you can follow to read through the book along with him during Lent. It’s all at his Loud Time blog, where he’s begun posting excerpts.

These are three solid ways of journeying through Lent—and there are certainly many more good Lent resources out there. We’ll share them here as we come across them in the weeks to come!