Gospel.com Blog

Jonalyn Grace Fincher, the author of Ruby Slippers, reacts to the recently released statistic that 1 in 4 teenage girls have an STD:

There is a discouraging, though not altogether unsurprising, statistic making headlines. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that 1 in 4 teenage girls have a sexually transmitted disease (STD). The New York Times covers the findings, “Sex Infections Found in Quarter of Teenage Girls”. My thoughts kicked into high gear when I heard that. What are my friends and sister’s friends going to be inheriting in the coming years? Infertility will continue to rise as infections from disease destroy the fine-tuned fertility micro-climate in a woman’s body.

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But I suppose the thing that bothers me the most is that STDs are infiltrating the core of a woman’s body, targeting her capacities for vulnerability in the future. You know how hard it is to raise your voice when you have a sore, inflamed throat? Or to laugh a deep, vulnerable belly guffaw when you have a cough? Well, that’s a taste of how hard it will be for these young women to be vulnerable in intimacy when the sensitive parts of her body, her reproductive capacities, her sexual pleasure and recreation has been damaged, ravaged by disease, inflamed from infection. The physical pain is just a small slice of the problem. I haven’t even touched on the psychological aspects of sex without the safety and freedom of marriage…

Vulnerability means we have places that can be touched, wounded or pleased. As I’ve written in Ruby Slippers, “Vulnerability requires that we have places that are tender, places we can be affected, touched and even destroyed. A sparrow is more vulnerable than a rock. But because a sparrow is alive, it whistles, and soars, even though it can also be caught by a cat and clawed to death.” (p 112).

You can read more of her thoughts at her blog.

Pornography doesn’t hurt anyone… does it? Statistics show us that pornography is almost everywhere, and that it’s far from harmless. Yet millions of families—both Christian and otherwise—live in the shadow of addiction to sex and pornography. If you’re at the end of your rope due to pornography addiction—yours or a loved ones’—how can you ever find freedom?

Blazing Grace is a Christian recovery ministry that is now part of TechMission’s Safe Families program, and it has a message of hope for anyone oppressed by sex and pornography addiction: freedom is possible, through the power of the Gospel and the support of your peers. Blazing Grace has many free resources to help you escape addiction and find healing, including:

• Forums where you can speak openly and honestly about “taboo” topics pornography, sex addiction, and masturbation. They also provide a place to find supportive accountability as you begin the difficult journey to healing.
• The Blazing Grace Radio Show is a unique radio program that talks about sex and porn addiction. You can listen to the shows online, subscribe to the podcast via iTunes, and download MP3s of each episode.
• Many helpful articles, like What I Wish I’d Known About Sex Addiction 20 Years Ago and Healing for Wives.
• Spanish and Korean language versions of their material.

If you’re trapped beneath the weight of sex or pornography addiction, healing is possible—the Bible assures us that no matter how hopeless it might seem to us, nothing is impossible with God. And one of the most effective ways God heals sexual brokenness is through his Gospel and supportive accountability partners. Take a look at what Blazing Grace has to offer—and know that there is hope!

Love is in the air today, whether you’re planning a romantic date with your significant other tonight, or are eagerly waiting for the holiday to be over and done with. There are a lot of useful articles and resources at Gospel.com about sex, marriage, dating, and relationships, and today seems a perfect time to highlight some of them. Here are some Valentine’s-themed items to get you thinking:

• ACTS International has a large collection of articles about marriage and relationships that are worth perusing. In particular, check out The Art of Staying in Love and Seven Secrets for a Successful Marriage, both of them aimed at married people. If you’re single, take a look at Single and Satisfied and Sex and the Single Adult.
• In a serious relationship, and thinking about marriage? InterVarsity has a free Bible study that explores the question What Qualities Should I Look for in a Future Spouse?
• Blaine Smith of Nehemiah Ministries has written a lot of good material (including a few books) about relationships, dating, and marriage. One of his best articles on the topic is Is God a Matchmaker?, which looks at the question of whether or not God has chosen a “special someone” for you.
• If you’re looking for short, inspirational messages about love and relationships, In His Steps has two collections of devotionals on the subject: one set of Valentine’s Day devotionals, and another set of devotionals about love.
• The ThinkChristian blog has two items talking about sex and the Christian life: a report on Lauren Winner’s speech about whether good sex is possible in marriage; and another asking whether Christians are too uptight about sex in general.
• On the ever-popular topic of sex, writer James Watkins has an entire site dedicated to “adult topics”: the Adult Site for Adults, where he talks frankly about, well, adult topics like sex and relationships.
• On the lighter side, Reverend Fun has a nice collection of cartoons with a Valentine’s Day theme.
• No collection of holiday links would be complete without a word from the Christian History Institute. So who was the original St. Valentine? And was he a romantic Romeo-type figure? Why is Valentine’s Day named after him?

That’s a lot of reading to do between now and tonight. But even after the romance of Valentine’s Day has come and goes, much of this material can help you keep your relationships healthy and Christ-centered. Have a happy Valentine’s Day!

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship has an interview with Mindy Meier. Mindy has been doing campus ministry for quite some time and has recently compiled answers to some of the most questions she is frequently asked in a new book called Sex and Dating.

From the online interview:

Many InterVarsity chapters seize the opportunity to schedule special events around Valentines Day. “If you’re ever going to have a talk on sex and dating, or on relationships, it’s certainly an appropriate time to do that,” Mindy said. Through television, music, and movies, students are bombarded by sexually charged messages. “They need to hear a Christian voice and a positive presentation of sexuality from God’s point of view,” she added.
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Although a lot of the questions, and the answers, have stayed the same over the past 20 years, there are some new ones that relate to technological innovations, for instance. “No one was meeting marriage partners on the internet 20 years ago,” she said. “That presents new issues.”

People who are matched by computer often have amazing compatibility. But that only goes so far, because relationships still take work. “It’s always merging two personalities, and that’s challenging,” she observed. But when inevitable problems surface the internet isn’t necessarily to blame. “Any two people that try to put together a relationship are going to run into some bumps in the road.”

Valentines Day is an important day on campus, because college students are interested in love and relationships. InterVarsity staff help students focus on healthy relationships that can stand the test of time.

The full audio interview is interesting as she attempts a few quick answers about topics like, “How do you know if you should get married to the person you’re dating?” She offers the advice that you don’t marry a person you marry a family. Ask yourself the question, Do I want to spend 50% of my Christmases with these people? A fact that not everyone thinks of before marriage.

Sex and Dating is available now through InterVarsity Press. You can read the table of contents and excerpts form the book here.

Have you ever felt like a slave to sin? Do you know someone who might be? Setting Captives Free is a ministry that strives to bring people into a right relationship with God. They don’t claim to make you impervious to sin, but they can effectively help you break free from addiction.

The goal of Setting Captives Free is surprisingly simple, they want “to reach as many people as possible with the liberating message of Jesus Christ.” Practically, this works out into a series of free online courses. Courses range from achieving sexual purity, food issues, gambling, and substance abuse. All courses are free and will walk you through a daily process of recovery. They have translations of their courses in six languages with more translations on the way.

If you’re interested in hearing about how other people have been blessed by their ministry, you can read testimonies of those that have found freedom. They also have other resources, like recommended reading, audio files, links, and accountability software to help you or someone you know break free from sin. In all things they strive to meet their purpose of honoring and glorifying God.

There are few pastors willing to talk frankly about masturbation. Church planter Jonathan Herron is one who is. In the new article “Solo Sex,” Jonathan establishes a Biblical position on masturbation that may surprise some, offend a few, and challenge all. Solo sex leaves one empty and unfulfilled; Jonathan challenges you to find true fulfillment by allowing Jesus to be the Lord of even the very private parts of your life.