How do you respond to the “black sheep” in your family?
Our question this afternoon is a bit different from the last several ones, but I think it’s appropriate with the looming approach of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and those epic family get-togethers that characterize the holidays: how do you deal with the “black sheep” in your family?
Here’s an answer from Dan Seaborn of Winning at Home, a Christ-centered family ministry:
A wise counselor friend once told me that the best way to deal with family members—especially difficult ones—is to simply be a family member to them. What he meant by this was that we should make efforts to bring the very best of family into the relationship. We should lead with love, reaching out to our relatives even when they hurt, annoy, and offend us.
This sounds much less complicated than it really is, of course, because past hurts can run deep, and because if there’s anybody on earth who can really get under your skin, it’s family.
Think about it, though. How would things change if you made an effort to bring the black sheep a little closer to the fold? What would be different if you practiced extra patience, built a bridge, agreed to disagree?
Now, I’m not going to say that there shouldn’t be any accountability or that we should turn a blind eye to real problems.
Still, there should come a time when you acknowledge that this family you’ve got is the only one you’ve got. It might never be perfect, but it will always be worth making a phone call, having a conversation, having a laugh.
Read the complete answer at the Winning at Home website.
Do you agree? Are you looking at any difficult family gatherings this holiday season, and if so, how do you deal with difficult family members with Christlike grace? And for extra credit, rephrase the question to ask how we should deal with the “black sheep” in the church family—is your answer to that any different than your answer to the original question?
we’ll i’m a blackship. my family used to judge me in everything i do. they dont trust me but through prayers everything went well.. prayer ois the best solution… God bless..
sorry…lol. not balackship but black sheep.. i’m just a little bit tired…
That would be recovering black sheep thank you very much, and I spare everyone the awkward moments and attend a 12-step gratitude dinner with all the rest of the separated flock.
I think love and patience captures it all……..
There have been a few “black sheep” in my family.
I think if they had been told that “they were in our prayers,”
and how much we have learned from them, and how valuable they were, possibly some of these sheep would not feel so unloved!
I was the “black sheep” in my family,even now, many members of my
family didnt believe en me, they didnt know that Jesus lives in my
hart, that Jesus can change the worst person in this world,and He
have the power to made a new person for good. Some family members
think that the “black sheep”still is the same bad person, but for
God, that black sheep is walking now for the skinny way.In the fami-
ly chritsmas reunions, it is hard to the family to believe in me.But
Jesus believed in me, when I came to Him with my hart repented.